I’m ready for my close up..
It took me some time to be able to compose thought one how I felt about the passing of Bettie. I have lost many close to me, but to take an idol like that in my life was something new to me. Everyone expected different reaction out of me and I guess I was not sure what I wanted my own reaction to be. I remember when Frank Sinatra died my grandmother cried, no more like sobbed. I was not sure if this is the reaction I was supposed to have. Especially because I feel I have come farther then most in my journey to learn everything about her life. I wanted to have some great words, or make up some great speech that would change the minds of all, and then I realized that was her job, only through pictures and motions.
I came to this conclusion. Bettie Page was always a pin up I was curios to know more about. She lived such a rebellious life yet she tried to be portrayed as innocent most of the time, much life myself. I think her picture are inspiring because she did go above and beyond the norm. But all in all she did what she loved to do and when she was done she moved on and never really expected more then some cash to get her through the hard time. Her personality was like no one else. Yes she was a little crazy, a little out of the normal and maybe lost many of her marbles along the way, but who really ever cared about her personality? How many people do you know that know the logistics of her mind, body and soul. I think that if people had taken a deeper look at things they would have found much more beauty in the pain she was never able to uncover.
All in all, I think her death made me realize that people can do anything they want and leave the world long before their time, like Bettie. She left life years ago yet is still with us today and will continue to effect other for generations to come and that is something I know I would love to accomplish.
Add a comment January 6, 2009
New Years Resolution.
As the years ends and I reflect a little on the past almost 23 years of me life I try and examine the relationships of all people around me, including myself. I have found that many people subject themselves to things for the plain fact that they feel that other will like them more if they do. I sound vague huh! what I am getting at is that my own personal relationships and friendships lack what I need in life. I have lots of guys who want to sleep with me, so instead of adding someone into my life that loves my personality or that wants to get to know me better before taking those steps, I end up with somesleaze balls who just gets into a relationship with me so he can have sex all day. I think the worst part of that is that I don’t even get offended. And I should.I also find that I don’t need negative people in my life, as a matter of fact I am a pretty upbeat person, yet I end up having only people who think negative of me or bring me down in any way, shape or form they can. So my new years resolution is to really learn to love myself. I want to take the steps to make sure that I personally feel good about the decisions I am making. No half ass or settling. I want to try harder to make other people change me to fit there mold and instead make people deal with who I am. I feel like sometimes I get brainwashed to think I have no changed and then wake up on day realizing that I am not even close to who I am. Life is way to short to keep sweating the small stuff and worrying about everyone else andtheir problems. And I also want to be a better friend. Letting people know that they can tell me when I am being shitty, or vice versa. I have grown so much as a person and I have made so much progress in becoming the person I want to be and I think the only thing stoping me is the relationships I put myself into. I need to realize that I am throwing my self worth out the window. so cheers to 2009 and making it cout!
Add a comment December 30, 2008
The Sizzler
I love best week ever! I watch shows throughout the week and I never realize how stupid they are until I watch best week ever! I find it strange the things people will really do for 15 minutes of fame. I mean I do a lot of stupid things for free, but at least its not out there on a t.v. show or on the internet!
1 comment November 8, 2008
